Ladies, Claim your Space without Hitting him….

Nyeri women have been on the spot in the recent past for ‘disciplining’ their errant men.

I have always heard that there are men who battered but never thought it could be as worse as what befell Simon Kiguta who was attacked by his wife with a panga last week.

Whereas husband batterers may be aggrieved, this course only leads to destruction. In most cases it results to dysfunctional marriages and divorce and to the worst you could end up in jail.

All relationships experience conflict and in marriage it is worse but what is important is how we address it. In this day and age of empowered women, it is good that our ladies learn how to settle conflict without slashing your man, call it ‘beating your man without hitting him.’

For a conflict to accelerate to the point of a woman slashing a man he has lived with as a husband for a decade it s likely it has gone on for sometime, probably for years. These are the things we sweep under the carpet for years, hoping they will go away somehow, sadly they don’t.

Despite the offence I believe you don’t have to get violent to ‘put sense in a man,’ there are better ways. First it is important that as a woman you make you are clear how you would want your relationship to be right from when you are dating and resolve any conflict conclusively.

It is always interesting for example how many women hate that their boyfriends drink, they don’t say it and don’t attempt to deal with it only to end with desperation in marriage

At the dating stage there is little to lose compared to when you get married. As a woman you have a comparative advantage and you can make your demands. At this stage if the divergence is unmanageable you can safely break up and move on.

In all relationships, diplomacy remains your best bet to deal with conflict. It is sad though that diplomacy rarely happen especially modern marriages. If it is not the man ‘beating his woman into line’, he is shouting at her using abusing language. Women are also on the dock for either shouting back or practicing the kneel by mouth ‘cold war.’

Learning to openly and unselfishly talk about your difference could save most marriages the strain of conflict. The idea here is to ensure that you make your partner understand your frustrations without him thinking you are nagging or are belittling them.

Always remember even those things that looks so obvious to you are at times not so obvious to him. All in all ensure you are heard for keeping quiet only makes you suffer in silence or aggravate your rage.

If you are the kind who burn with rage or whose anger often gets overboard, it is advisable to seek professional help from a counselor or a psychologist.

Simple ways of dealing with this is training yourself to remain quiet when you are angry and getting away from your husband. Engaging in a task also takes away the rage faster as you make use of the energy. After you have cooled down you can now talk about the issue soberly and reconcile with your love.

You don’t have to slash your man to make a point, speak out your mind right from when you are dating!