Inspired of the lord.....

Beauty, success not good foundation for marriage

The glorification of materialism is affecting the way we love. We are in a world where the kind of car he drives, the places he hangs out, how curvy she is or the kind of car she drives are top on the list when  considering someone to date.

One wonders what happened to the old way of looking at the character first and the connecting of hearts before anything else.

A model

When he is not all mushy mushy…

What do you do when he is not all mushy mushy like you would want?

I have had two heated discussion on this question in the last week. Two of my friends in what many would consider happy relationships feel they are missing something in their relationships.

“He is a good provider and is usually at home with us but he won’t touch me suggestively in public or even hold my hand,” complains one of them.

In a separate conversation Jane* adds: “He is a focused man and he is even building a home for us and won’t forget my birthday but sometimes I want a gifts a little more often.”

Man cooking for his woman

 

What going beyond 50-50 does to your marriage

That marriage is a 50-50 affair is one of the most misused statements in modern day marriage.

Many young people get married with the perception that what they do for their partner will be determined by how much their partner does for them. Unfortunately this principle of “give me so that I can give you” takes from marriage instead of growing it. It makes marriage more of a transaction than a relationship.

Ending a relationship with respect

Many of us are clueless when it comes to ending a relationship. Some have crashed their love trains in the crudest of ways. From people ending it via a text, emails of whatsapp message to others sending emissaries, the modern person is clueless on how to end it. It is however important to end a relationship in a more kind and mature manner.

Don’t fake it

It is good to personally meet your partner to end the relationship, don’t use a text, email or a phone call. All these shows lack of respect for them. Secondly when you finally decide to tell your partner about the breakup don’t hide behind the “it’s me with the problem, not you,” excuse. This line is too old to be used. Secondly everyone knows it is a lie. A little honesty would do, just say you two couldn’t work out because of one or two differences. Don’t shy off from saying the reasons but be kind when saying it.

Drop hints

Don’t make enemies while planning your wedding

Wedding planning is one of the most stressful moments for couples planning to get married.

One of the biggest risks of this process is making enemies from your friends especially when you bother them with too much. Let’s share a few tips on how to deal with your friends so as not to bother your friends too much. First holding meetings every week to talk about the  same things gets boring. If you have attended a wedding committee people’s commitment wanes as meetings progress. You will also notice that more people attend the first meetings and the last one. Not to bother people, avoid too many meetings and just have enough.  

Why would a wife apologize for her man’s torn socks?

We have seen wives of prominent men apologizing to the public on behalf of their spouses who were caught on camera with torn socks. I am often surprised by the number of women who condemn such women saying that “he is the one who picked the torn socks not me.”

Let us flip it a little bit and bring it closer home. Imagine this scenario, your husband leaves home well groomed and you even tell him how handsome he looks. Later in the day a friend or a colleague sends you a whatsapp photo of his torn socks or a shirt missing a button. What would you do? apologise, badmouth him or say nothing?

When he has no guts to propose

In our culture women are not supposed to pursue a man let alone propose. Men are supposed to be in charge, to know what they want and to pursue it. Women on the other hand are to be passive and wait for the man of their dreams to come along. But what happens when that man you love lacks the courage to either ask you out or even propose?

When you are sure he loves you but he wont say it

Nudge him

How to make her success our success

One of the biggest challenges many couples don’t know how to deal with is when the woman becomes more successful than the man. In many relationships, when the man is growing in career or business it is all good, but when it is the woman it becomes a crisis.

A couple fighting

In many cases you have a man who loses self-esteem and commitment at home, a woman who feels unsupported and at times who becomes arrogant and eventually a very unhappy home.  So how can a couple navigate this delicate matter?

Valentine’s day is over, but love shouldn’t be

It has been proven over the years that Valentine’s Day is a day of key love decisions. It is the one day in a year that probably experiences the highest number of engagements and break ups. I am certain that this year’s Valentine’s Day which fortunately or unfortunately fell on a Saturday was no different. It is likely many were ‘dumped’ for failing to meet the expectations of their loved ones while the lucky ones got hitched for the opposite. Now that the day is gone, lets critically look at its impact on love.

Lies cheaters tell

Cheating is wrong whether you have a dozen reasons or not. Interestingly many of those who do it know this but continue doing it probably because as they say `stolen waters are sweeter.` In most cases the cheating is based on a lie or two that the cheaters and their accomplices want to be true. Below are three most misused lies.

1. I am happier with you than my spouse
Listen to many spouses who cheat and this is likely to be their number one excuse to cheat. However this is the biggest lie of all time. For many people who cheat there is something extra they are looking for out there. From looking for some extra cash, to freekier sex, respect and the like.