Home > Fulfilling marriages..... > Why would a wife apologize for her man’s torn socks?

Why would a wife apologize for her man’s torn socks?


We have seen wives of prominent men apologizing to the public on behalf of their spouses who were caught on camera with torn socks. I am often surprised by the number of women who condemn such women saying that “he is the one who picked the torn socks not me.”

Torn socksLet us flip it a little bit and bring it closer home. Imagine this scenario, your husband leaves home well groomed and you even tell him how handsome he looks. Later in the day a friend or a colleague sends you a whatsapp photo of his torn socks or a shirt missing a button. What would you do? apologise, badmouth him or say nothing?

So why do women take the blame even when I as the man picked that torn socks from among many others that are in good condition?

For starters we are one, therefore the shame of one partner is the shame of both of us. When a husband is ashamed so is the wife no matter how much you try to sugar coat it. People look at you as the wife whose husband had torn socks. When you see a woman felling embarrassed and even going to the extent of apoligising, it is not that they are so foolish to do it, but most likely because she feels the shame that the torn socks brought to the family.

Secondly a woman is seen as the nurturer and the person who are in charge at home. Therefore when a man  or the children are badly dressed people are naturally inclined to see it as a failure on the part of the woman. This is the same case when it is a responsibility associated with the man. For example when my family is in a financial mess because of poor financial decisions people don’t look at the wife but at me and questions like, “what kind of a man is he if he can’t show leadership in his family finances?

We are part of each other

We are part of each other

Thirdly we can’t run away from the reality that image is everything to some people especially to those in public life and high profile jobs. Women will therefore apologise so as to safeguard the man’s and family reputation because the negative image could hurt their life or business.

At the end of the day, women don’t apologise because they are necessarily foolish but because their interests are affected by the torn socks or button less shirt.

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