Stable love isn’t necessarily happiness

Having a stable marriage will require the man and the woman to take up their responsibilities. A man needs to provide, offer security and plan for his family’s future. A woman needs to keep a home and care for her family. Apart from this family foundation a couple needs to also consider helping each other in these responsibilities. It doesn’t make a man less when he helps with home chores just like it doesn’t make his woman less when she contributes to the budget.Undertaking these responsibilities gives you a stable relationship/marriage. However to be happy you need to go beyond this routine.  You will need to appeal to the inner feeling of being loved and cared for for your woman, and that of feeling respected and taken care of for your man.

You will need to make time to be with her and the kids, listen to her more, empathize with whatever issues she has and quit giving solutions. Your woman desires your attention, your pampering and your care. Your money and security aren’t a replacement for this.

You will need to figure out what makes her feel loved and appreciated and offer it.  It could be sending her flowers at work, chocolate, cards, dinner or coffee dates e.t.c. Love covers a multitude of sin, it is love that makes you treat your woman with care even when you feel she is totally on the wrong.

Your man feeds on your admiration for him, your support for his dreams – career-wise and business, not forgetting your pride for his achievements. Your man desires some space when he has issues to deal with, being all sorry and wanting him to talk about it often comes out as nagging. For him solutions are better than being sorry.

Needless to say most men desire this one day they can come home, put the legs on the couch, read the newspaper or watch the game as you cook for him, iron his clothes and serve him his favorite meal. Don’t look at this as the domineering African man, see it as his way of being served just like the way you want him to open the car door, allow you to shop without limits, hold you at night, kiss you good morning and carry you to bed. Serve him gladly just like you enjoy the flowers, the candy and the weekend away or holiday.

At the end of the day love isn’t necessarily doing what everybody out there is talking about, but serving our partners as they would want. Keeping the routine of providing and keeping a home is the easier part, keeping a spouse happy is tough.

You will need the routine responsibilities to keep your marriage stable, but to be happy you will need to go the extra mile. Look for what makes your partner feel loved and do it.